Mission: Be a Better Mommy series {part 1} TOY JAIL

Here's something you don't always here a mother say (but I'm sure most think from one time or another): My kids can be such a$$holes.  Seriously!  I mean, I love them to death, but honestly, they can be such little shits some times.  Their teacher's would say I was crazy since they are perfect little angels all day with them, but at home with me it's a different story.  They used to be so much nicer a few years ago: they listened more, almost always cleaned up after themselves, ate most of their food.  Now, they argue with me about everything, barely eat their dinner, demand dessert after every meal, and I have to practically scream at them to get them to pick up their crap. 

Don't get me wrong, I know kids who are WAAAAYYYYY worse than my kids, so I'm not complaining too much, but their behaviors have been less than desirable lately and it's time for me to fix it.  And by fit IT, I mean fix MYSELF.  Any parent that is having behavioral issues with their kids, whether it be major or minor, needs to look in the mirror because it is NOT the kid's fault; it's OURS.  Our kids are born ready to learn and soak up the world like a little sponge and how we parent directly correlates to their behavior and attitudes towards society.  There are a million types of discipline methods and I am not here to say what is best for your family.  I do know that I am not happy with how my kids have been acting so I am on a mission to try and fix it!

I have been trying to think about why my kid's behavior has changed and I have discovered two changes: one (and the more major one) is my lack of patience.  Blame it on being stuck at home with three kids day in and day out with very little time away, or just the daunting repetitiveness of all their demands.  Maybe it's the lack of adult time or all the driving and rusing around we have been doing.  Perhaps it's a combo of it all.  I love being a stay at home mama but it certainly isn't easy, but that's not a good reason for me to be slacking on my job.  I need to find more patience and find it NOW.  The second thing is my oldest daughter has been more trying than usual, and I know that comes with her getting older.  She is an amazingly smart and wonderful girl.  She is an awesome big sister and so helpful to me. She can also be a whiny brat and major pain in the you-know-what when she wants.  That's another issue for another time though.

Back to the mission at hand: being a better mommy.  Being a better mommy means not raising little shits that are going to be assholes when they grow up: not demand things from society, not understand that hard work pays off, not be spoiled brats and not just to "expect" things to be done for them.  This concept (and Pinterest, of course) is what sparked my first step on my mission.

I decided to finally make that awesome "toy ransom" box that I pinned AGES ago.  The concept behind the box is to stop all the asking, pleading, and in my house, yelling that comes along with trying to get your kids to pick up their things and put them away. 

The rules are simple:
- Mom sees a mess, gives the kids a warning to please pick them up and put them away.
- After a period of time, one that mom sees fit, if said toy(s) are still out, mom places toy in Toy Jail.
- In order for child to get their toy back, mom will chose a chore from the list for child to do.
- There are no re-picks, you get what you get.
- If it is a cleaning job with "spray" (like cleaning the front of the fridge) MOM sprays, because it's fun to spray and this chore isn't suppose to be fun!
- Once the chore is complete, child gets toy back.
- If there are unclaimed toys in the box after a week, they get donated.

Here is my box.  I found this cute little poem at Just Another Day in Paradise

 

My list of chores are:

Clean the tub

Pick up the dog poop

Rub Dad's feet for 5 minutes

Clean the potty

Clean the kitchen floor with a cloth

Wipe down the front of the fridge

Wipe down the garage door in the kitchen

Pick weeds in the backyard

Pay mom a quarter from your piggy bank

Brush Biscuit for 5 minutes

Clean the kitchen chairs

Do 25 jumping jacks

Clean your sibling’s room

Shake out the kitchen rugs

Shake out the kid’s bathroom rugs

Clean all the doorknobs

Wipe baseboards in kitchen

Wipe baseboards in living room

Wipe baseboards in hallway

The genius of this box is it's simplicity.  One warning, no yelling, begging, nagging. They don't clean it up? Into the box it goes!  Sure they may throw a temper tantrum but that doesn't bother me.  I am hoping that this box helps to bring back some of my patience because my blood wont boil so much when no one listens to me. Also, they were learn the all-important lessons of RESPONSIBILITY and ACCOUNTABILITY.

 

To go along with this "responsibility" lesson is the chore charts I made for my kids. I'll share those in my Mommy Mission, part 2 on Monday.

 

I don't know about you, but I cannot WAIT for the first kid to leave a toy out and I hope the chore is "pick up dog poop": that'll show them I mean business!