Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Mother of All Inventions!

I pride myself as being a decent multi-tasker and have a keen ability to have, on most days, 98% of my daily tasks complete at the end of said day.  There are certain things that would, however, make my life MUCH easier that I wish could be invented.  I can't imagine a mother on the planet that wouldn't want these!

1. A self-cleaning toilet:  My dream potty would always be clean IN and AROUND it.  Jacob can never seem to get his pee IN the bowl....when I walk by him in the hallway, he is busy scanning the room with his eyes, and his pee-pee seems to follow.  Never in my life would I dream I would be saying "focus on your pee!" as much as I do on a daily basis.

2. A limo-window for my car:  Do you remember being young and having expendable income that you could waste on a fancy limo ride???  I do...and it was great.  All limos have those neat windows that can roll up to separate the driver from the shenanigans happening in the back.  I want one of these for my car.  This way, I could hear my jams and ignore the insanity that is driving with my kids anywhere.  Better yet, have it tinted so I don't have to SEE it either.

3. An automatic picker-upper for dropped things in the car:  My kids ALWAYS drop their crap as soon as we leave the driveway.  Snack cups, juice cups, toys; you name it.  Rarely will I pull over and get them until we get to our destination, so normally I have to hear whining about the dropped item the entire drive.  A robotic arm that can come out of the wall of the car and pick up their crap would be awesome...especially for the third row!

4.  A spray that can be put on tables so crayon won't stick to it: My kids LOVE to color and ALWAYS get crayon on their snack table.  I have to scrub it daily, and it's a pain in my ass.

5.  Smudge-proof and dog-nose slobber proof glass:  Biscuit stands that the dang slider everyday and gets dog yuck on my door.  Me being OCD, has to clean it 45x a day.  I should take stock in Windex. 

6.  A device that would force my kids to stay in bed until a time I decided on:  I don't even know what that would consist of, but it certainly would be awesome.

7.  Wine home-delivery: for when things get desperate and the hubs is at work late.

These are just some of my more-unique wishes for inventions, but there are so many, many more that would be amazing.  Things such as an "insta-fold" app on my phone, automatic thigh slimming creams, pre-cooked healthy dinners that I can microwave and that aren't full of chemicals and that my kids would eat, automatic bed-makers, sheets that never get dirty, self-ironing shirts and pants for Mr. Pea and a "mute" button that I could use for my kids would all just make my life so much easier.  Can someone that isn't as busy as I am multi-tasking please invent some of these??  I'll only take a 40% cut for sharing my awesome ideas with you.


Allison Showers-Chlup said...

These are ingenious. Apply for patents right now . . .you could be very rich if you invented even one of these! :)

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