Saturday, December 22, 2012

Go the f*ck to sleep

Have you seen this book???  It's so funny and spot on.  I don't actually own it but I'd like to someday.  If you haven't heard it, you can listen to it here on you tube.  It's narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and is as funny as the title sounds.  Seriously an lol-er. 

My kids have come up with their share of excuses of why they can't go to sleep.  Here are some of the better ones that I can think of.

The usual ones:
- I have to go potty.
- I need a drink of water.
- I need some more water.
- I can't find my {monkey, blanket, stuffed dog, Blue's Clue...}
- My blanket is wrinkly
- I need more milk (Hannah).
- My pillow fell off my bed.
- My blanket is untucked
- I can't here my window.
- I had a bad dream. (How is that even possible since you actually haven't even gone to sleep yet!)
- I have a boo-boo {enter any place on their body}
- My stars turned off. (night light animals, even though they do have a regular night light)

Some of the more exotic ones:
- I have too my spit in my mouth.
- I heard my bad-guy siren and I need to go sling a web out of my window.
- My body is cracking in half.
- I have something sticky on my finger. (oh great!)
- I need to go poop.
- I forgot to feed Biscuit.
- I didn't brush my teeth. (yes you did)
- I didn't floss. (too late!)
- I need some medicine.
- I don't like the song on my radio.
- There is a cat in my bed (no there isn't)
- There is someone talking to me (no sh*t, Hannah said that to me once, SCARY!)
- My blanket is upside down.
- I want to watch this show with you.
- I forgot to tell Hermie {the elf} something.
- The stars are too bright.
- I have wax in my ears.

I know there is more than this....I'll have to begin keeping a running list of the hilarity.

Hopefully they are FINALLY asleep so I can wrap Christmas presents!!

What's your kid's favorite bedtime excuse?? Please do share!


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