Said no mother ever....

We've all seen this type of e-card...the ones that end on "said no one ever...".  I can be easily amused so these crack me up.  Most e-cards do.  In fact, if you check me out on Pinterest my ha ha funny! board is chock full of these!

See?  Funny.

As a mom, there are about a million of these I could write....

"Sure!  I LOVE cleaning all that pee around the potty every day!" said no mother ever.

"The best part of my day is when my kids are suppose to be tucked in bed and sleeping, but instead I am repeatedly telling you to get back in bed." said no mother ever.

"Waking up before the sun rises is the best.  ESPECIALLY when it's on a weekend!" said no mother ever.

"I just can't wait to sweep after every.single.meal because a meal isn't complete until I've had to spend 30 minutes cleaning up after it" said no mother ever.

"I love talking to myself.  Please, continue to ignore me." said no mother ever.

"Yea, I totally want to wipe your bum after you've pooped.  It's the best." said no mother ever.

"Please spill that juice on the carpet I just cleaned.  It looks better stained." said no mother ever.

"Don't forget to squeeze half the toothpaste on the counter while you are brushing your teeth!" said no mother ever.

"Would you stop being so quiet?" said no mother ever.

"Why aren't you fighting with your siblings?" said no mother ever.

"Yea I wasn't watching that show, I'd much rather watch Mickey Mouse." said no mother ever.

"I love having no social life." said no mother ever.

Yes, continue to leave a giant mess in every room because I live to clean." said no mother ever.

"No, no, no...you don't have to eat that meal I prepared and cooked for over an hour.  Why would I care?" said no mother ever.

I could go on and on...I should write a book; but that would allow me to focus on me, and why would I want that? said no mother ever...